the weather is beautiful outside: gloomy clouds over the warm mountains. i haven't been this productive in ages. my writer's callus is developing a second layer. david's playing in the background, "putting out the fire with gasoline". my record player is almost fixed; just need to pick up the speakers from my storage unit in swannonoa. i'll have enough money soon to finish all my promised metal projects, fix my camera, and finish my tattoo.

today wasn't even close to as stressful as yesterday. i stressed out about the stupid measurements all night, and when i woke up this morning i knew exactly what i was doing wrong. i love it when that happens. i've registered for 20 credits next semester; so, with the labs in addition to the lectures, i'll have 8 classes a week and be working in the lab part time. they're all basic classes except for two of them; i'm semi-confident i can still make the dean's list. i just want that bio minor before i head off to bournemouth. i nnnnneeeeeeedddddd it. speaking of, i received another letter from them today... i really need to write them back. as well as that asshole down at u of fl. erg. fuck him.

after working in the field again, i'm having reservations about if i really want to be doing field work for the rest of my life. i'm starting to really enjoy the genetic aspect of human origins. plus: what if i fuck up my body and can't work? what if i get shot in turkmenistan? should i even stress about that? what happened to the fearless person that i used to be? oh, right. mr. no-fun pants.
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since i'm already on the topic: "on the quixotic nature of the rocker genre of the male human"
granted, i'm a total sucker for punk rock dudes, but there are issues that need to be addressed. these topics have been observed through my relationships, as well as those of my girl friends.

• what's with the flare? granted you wear the same jeans and leather jacket and possibly change to a different band t-shirt (with cutoff sleeves) when it begins to dry rot, but really, all those buttons and studs must get in the way. and it's not like you're dressing uniquely. screen printers and button makers (who more than likely have been switched to an even faster machine) make mass quantities of punk rock apparel especially for gimps like you.
• do you have any other skill besides playing 3 chords on a guitar? can you built or fix anything, or do i have to do it for you?
  
• why do you proposition women with absolutely no substance? because you want a sex toy that might as well be a fragile porcelain doll? is it because you are too boring to have an intellectual conversation that you need someone beautiful to somewhat compensate for qualities that you are lacking? do you realize that you'll never be able to take her anywhere outside because she'll be too scared to get her fingernails dirty? LAME.
  
• do you read anything besides 'zines, comic books, or clive barker? that explains why you can't have a decent conversation.
  
• despite the fact that you claim liberal or socialist beliefs, are you aware that you treat women really, really, really poorly? more along the lines of SHITTY. the majority of us females in your scene might appear to be tomboyish on the surface, but if you actually made an effort in "the whole relationship thing", you would be well aware that we do like to be taken out on dates, be kissed in public, be given flowers, etc. and yes, i would have worn a dress, heels, and makeup. i might have even gotten my nails done. that's stretching it a bit, but if you had respected me, i probably would have done anything for you.
  
• if i want to wear a dress in public when you are not around, i sure fucking will. what a fucking gimp you are that you act jealous when i go do something without you! are you really so insecure that you think i am going to fuck some other dude just because i wear a dress when i go out dancing? are you fucking kidding me?
• in opposition to the above statement: why didn't you give a shit when i drunkenly made out with someone else? that behavior should have been a key excuse for us to end things right then. you truly must have kept me around solely for the fact that i'm good in the sack. there are no excuses for either parties behavior; however, it's pretty indicative of prior problems within the relationship. give a shit about your girlfriend.
• defend her fucking honor! do not allow some douche on the street cat call your girlfriend or yell obscenities at her. actions speak louder than words.
  
• buy a goddamn suit. trust me. it's ridiculously hot.
• learn how to fucking dance. and dance with your girlfriend.
• get over yourself. we all had bad childhoods. you are 35. don't act as if your shit smells like roses. i don't care that you can draw pretty pictures. that you know every member in all of these really awesome bands. i don't care that teenage girls fawn over you.
• MAS IMPORTANTE: NEVER date a straight-edge guy unless you want to feel completely guilty about every aspect of your existence.
  

maybe the title should be, "the punk rocker's guide to decency".


i just got a whiff of my work boots. they smell like the guy we have decomposing in the facility. at least i'm not tracking third instar maggots into my apartment like my coworker did. heh.